”Now, we’re going to the big supermarket, and there are lots of people, so I need you to hold on to the cart or you’ll get lost.”
Shintaro crouched down in front of his four-year-old daughter to properly get her attention and quickly stroked her pigtail.
”Understand, Chiyo?”
”Un,” the girl nodded. She had a habit of wandering off if she saw something interesting, and it wasn’t once or twice when Shintaro had been searching for her at a beach or park or playground in full panic. He wouldn’t want to repeat that now at their new, nearby supermarket.
”Alright then, papa will get the cart and then we can go.”
It went fine for the first fifteen minutes or so. Chiyo walked nicely by the cart while Shintaro picked some bread, vegetables and meat for them. Since the store was new, he didn’t know the location of certain products so they had to walk back and forth a couple times.
”Chiyo, do you want to sit in the cart? Are you tired?” Shintaro tried even though he could guess the answer already.
”No!” the girl said right away. ”I want to walk.”
”Alright then… Let’s go look for coffee.”
”Papa, can we buy Chiikawa candy?”
”Let’s see. It’s not weekend…”
Shintaro finally found the right aisle for coffee and spices and turned the cart between the shelves. There was a nice offer for the coffee he liked to drink, so he happily added two packages in the cart before turning to browse the spice shelf. As he squatted down in front of the shelf, he glanced towards their cart and his stomach dropped when he noticed the cart side was empty.
”Oh shi-… Chiyo?”
Shintaro looked back and forth between the current aisle and then hurried to the next one to see if the girl had just fallen behind. She wasn’t there either.
”Chiyo!”
The familiar worry twisted his stomach, even though Shintaro’s rational side knew that she was close by somewhere and most likely couldn’t wander out of the store by herself. He asked the nearby older couple if they’d seen a small girl with a yellow jacket, but they hadn’t.
Shintaro left the cart and hurried back to the main aisle, where he tried to spot a small figure among the other customers and carts. He passed the sweets aisle to check if the girl had wandered there in search for her favorite candy, but only saw older kids there. Shintaro could feel his anxiety level rising by the second, and he was just considering informing the staff about the missing child, when an announcement cut through the regular advertisements and store music:
4-year-old Chiyo is waiting for his father by the cashier counters.
”Thank God,” Shintaro muttered. ”Cashier, cashier…”
He spun around, trying to figure out which direction to hurry to.
”Cashiers are that way, son,” an old lady near him pointed to the aisle on his right.
”Ah, thank you so much!” Shintaro bowed quickly and sped to the direction the lady had pointed.
—
Hokuto had come to the supermarket to look for a quick lunch, but had been distracted by the skincare shelf. He was reading the description for a new foam cleanser when he noticed a small child loitering nearby. She appeared to be alone, and was looking around, looking a bit lost. Hokuto also glanced around him but didn’t see anyone who could be her parent. He hesitated a few seconds, then put the cleanser back on the shelf.
Hokuto approached the girl with a friendly smile and bent down a bit to speak to her.
”Hello. Are you alone? Where is your mama?”
The girl glanced at him cautiously under her bangs. She had big bright eyes and cute pigtails. She pouted a little and shook her head slightly.
Hokuto wasn't sure what the shake meant so he tried another approach, crouching down properly to be on her eye level.
”My name is Hokuto. What’s yours?”
Again he got a long, estimating look as an answer. But then the girl said in the tiniest voice: ”Chiyo.”
”Chiyo-chan? Nice to meet you.” Hokuto smiled.
”Would you come with me to look for mama?”
Chiyo shook her head again. ”Papa.”
”Ah, you’re looking for papa! Okay. Shall we go together?”
Hokuto offered his hand for the child, already prepared to be rejected, but to his surprise Chiyo grabbed the hold of his fingers. Her hand was smooth and so small compared to his own, and Hokuto kind of wanted to cry at the sight. Usually he didn’t even care for kids that much. But right then, he was ready to protect this cute girl and make sure that she found her father as soon as possible.
Hokuto walked with Chiyo to the cashier counters where he found a staff member. He asked for them to make an announcement about the lost child so the father could come and pick her up.
”Ah, understood,” the staff guy said and then bent down and offered his hand for Chiyo.
”Would you come with me?”
To Hokuto’s and the staff member’s surprise, Chiyo shook her head and grabbed the hem of Hokuto’s coat and pressed against his leg shyly.
”Oh, it’s okay,” Hokuto said quickly, ”I can wait here with her. I’m not in a hurry.”
”If you’re sure, sir. I’ll go make the announcement. Please wait here for a moment.” Bowing, the staff guy hurried off and Hokuto was left with Chiyo.
He looked down at her and carefully patted her head. ”It’s okay, papa will come here in a moment.”
Or so he really hoped.
But indeed, only a mere minute or so after the announcement, Hokuto saw a young man hastily appearing between the shelves, clearly looking for something or someone. When he spotted them, his face brightened instantly and he strode closer.
”Chiyo! Where did you go? Papa was worried.”
Hokuto couldn’t help staring at the guy. He didn’t know what he had expected of this cute girl’s father, but definitely someone older and… less hot. The guy was around his age, with dyed high-lighted hair, a goatee beard and a sporty yet cool outfit.
The guy knelt down in front of Chiyo and stroked her cheek gently.
”You shouldn’t wander off, you little rascal.”
Then the guy looked up at Hokuto, and Hokuto could immediately tell where the girl had gotten her big round eyes from.
”So sorry for the trouble! She has a habit of getting lost…”
”Not at all!” Hokuto said immediately. ”I’m happy we found you so quickly. She’s very cute.”
The guy chuckled and stood up. ”Yeah. A lot of work at times though. Chiyo, say thanks to this nice oniisan.”
”Thank you, Hokuto-oniisan,” the girl said obediently.
”No problem,” Hokuto said, bending down to smile at the girl. Chiyo smiled shyly back at him before hiding her face behind his father’s leg. Hokuto and the guy laughed.
”Already on a first name basis?” The guy sounded a bit surprised and stroked Chiyo’s hair. ”She’s usually very timid around strangers, doesn’t even talk to them, so she seems to like you.”
”Ah, really? Well, I’m glad if so.”
”I’m Shintaro, by the way. We live nearby so this is our new closest supermarket.”
That was definitely nice to know, Hokuto thought when looking at the guy’s radiant smile. He wouldn’t mind running into him (and Chiyo) again.
”Matsumura Hokuto,” Hokuto said, nodding his head. ”This is my nearest store, too.”
”Cool, maybe we’ll see each other here again, then,” Shintaro said. Jokingly or not, Hokuto couldn’t tell, but his friendly tone was encouraging.
”Hopefully we do,” Hokuto said and meant it.
Next time, Hokuto thought when waving at Shintaro and his cute daughter, he’d ask the guy out for coffee.
Wagging its tail, a small poodle from the neighborhood greeted Hokuto by sniffing his shoes and yelping happily. Hokuto chuckled and let the dog sniff his hand quickly before its owner hurried them on along the walkway. Hokuto continued in the opposite direction, taking a sip of his takeaway coffee.
Hokuto was walking home from the train station, and for once he wasn’t in any hurry, so he took his time to enjoy the warm, sunny weather. He’d even taken a little detour on purpose. It was April, the cherry blossoms were already gone but nature was getting greener by the day while the just right spring warmth blessed the city.
The path took a turn towards a small playground, and Hokuto could hear a happy yell of a child there. He walked by a green metal fence, looking amusedly at a worn-out wooden Pikachu sign that warned about running children. The sign looked like it had stood there since Hokuto had been a toddler.
”Chiyo, careful!”
The sudden call almost made Hokuto jump; he’d been so concentrated on the sign that he hadn’t noticed the man in the playground at all.
It was Shintaro, with Chiyo.
Hokuto instantly stopped on his tracks, feeling an embarrassing jump in his gut when he looked at Shintaro. He’d been hoping he would run into the young father again properly. Since the first sudden encounter at the supermarket, he’d seen Shintaro at the train station and a couple times at the store again, but always briefly and from afar. But now… He tried observing the situation discreetly.
Shintaro was standing by a bench on the edge of the playground, keeping an eye on Chiyo, who was playing in the sandbox at the moment. Shintaro was casually dressed in joggers and a lime green windbreaker, and was sipping something from a tumbler. The playground was empty otherwise. Checking this, Hokuto’s mind automatically ran through countless different scenarios with him walking in and talking to Shintaro, and also him pretending not to notice and just striding by awkwardly. The latter option was what usually happened with him and his over-thinking, anxious mind.
Then again, Hokuto’s now relaxed and chipper mind pointed out, what was the worst thing that could happen? He’d get to talk to Shintaro anyway. He really, really wanted to. He breathed out slowly, and took a swig of his coffee for the nerves before starting off again.
Hokuto slid into the playground area, and approached Shintaro leisurely, allowing the other time to notice him. When Shintaro did, his face lit up cutely, and he gave Hokuto a wide smile.
“Hi! Long time no see!”
“Hello! I happened to walk by and noticed you guys here…”
“Small neighborhood, right?” Shintaro laughed. “Chiyo, look who’s here! Hokuto-oniisan!”
Chiyo looked their way, and Hokuto waved cheerfully at her, even though he wasn’t even sure she remembered him anymore. Chiyo gave him a haphazard wave and then went back to her sand cakes, making both Hokuto and Shintaro laugh.
“She loves the playground, would be here all day if allowed,” Shintaro told Hokuto.
Hokuto smiled when looking at Chiyo’s playing. “I bet.”
“But how are you here on a random Thursday like this? A day off?”
“Something like that,” Hokuto said. “Took a detour home to enjoy the weather.”
“A nice coincidence, then,” Shintaro smiled. “I’ve seen you a couple times at the station or the supermarket, but you always look so busy.”
Hokuto was taken aback by that. “Ah, really? Y-you’ve seen me? As in, noticed me?”
“Sure! Actually it’s quite easy to spot you since you always look so stylish. You kinda stand out among tired office workers or parents like myself.”
“Hmm, I don’t know… But thank you,” Hokuto said, feeling his face heating up a bit at the sudden compliment. He knew “stylish” in this case meant his work day look and not his actual style, which was way louder and colorful and weird, but Hokuto appreciated it nonetheless.
He also couldn’t believe that Shintaro had spotted him around the neighborhood, like Hokuto had done with him. That, too, made his chest flutter embarrassingly… Hokuto sipped his coffee in a slight mental panic. He really should get a grip before falling head over heels for a cute neighborhood dad, who most likely had a beautiful and perfect wife at home.
Though, now that Hokuto thought about it, he had never seen Shintaro with anyone. It was always just him and Chiyo, just like today. He wondered if it would be nosy and impolite to ask about it.
Hokuto’s pondering was cut short by Chiyo, who strutted their way.
”Papa, I’m thirsty!” She announced.
”Oh? Do you want juice?” Shintaro grabbed his backpack and fished out a small juice carton. He stuck the straw in and handed the carton to Chiyo.
”Are you hungry? Do you want to go home?”
The girl promptly shook her head while drinking the juice. Then she turned towards Hokuto, eyeing him curiously. Hokuto smiled at her.
“Do you remember me, Chiyo-chan?”
She kept looking at him thoughtfully, so Shintaro helped out: “He was the nice oniisan at the supermarket. You remember?”
After a short silence, Chiyo nodded slowly and Hokuto happily beamed down at her, then at Shintaro. Then, he felt a small hand grabbing the hold of his fingers. Chiyo pulled on his hand, clearly wanting him to follow her.
“What is it?” Hokuto asked, again feeling this weird wave of gratitude over the fact that the little girl was so familiar with him.
“I want to swing,” Chiyo said.
Hokuto glanced at Shintaro, who just nodded encouragingly at him.
“Great, you go and play with her so I can chill here for a bit,” he said cheekily, sitting down on the bench and fishing out his phone.
“Hey!” Hokuto protested, though laughing, while letting Chiyo pull him towards the swings. He looked at Shintaro over his shoulder, at his wide smile and playful wave, and felt a sudden burst of boldness.
“I want coffee as compensation!” he called out to Shintaro.
“Deal,” the other said right away. “Whenever you’re free.”
Hokuto turned back towards Chiyo and bit back a smile, his heart fluttering so much his earlier resolution seemed quite useless already. A small casual crush never hurt anyone, right?
Soon again, Hokuto would be desperately pining after someone he couldn’t have. He knew that was a possibility.
And yet.
They had actually added each other on LINE after the playground meeting, so Hokuto was cautiously hopeful that he would get that coffee Shintaro had promised.
Shintaro:
Hey, and thanks for today! Chiyo was thrilled, idk if she will accept me as her play buddy anymore 😁
You:
Hahaha! She’s so cute ☺️ I don’t mind playing with her again sometime
Shintaro:
I’ll keep that in mind!
Also, I’ll get back to you about the coffee?
You:
Alright
looking forward to that ☕️
After the messages, a day passed, then another.
Then a week.
Hokuto opened the chat daily, wondering if he should send something. Countless times he started writing a message only to delete it right away, telling himself that Shintaro was most likely busy and wouldn’t have time to have a useless chat with Hokuto. He had mentioned about the coffee, so he wouldn’t forget about it. Right?
During the week, Hokuto tried his best to concentrate on working and not worrying about the nonexistent coffee date. He currently had minor roles in two different drama series, so the filming schedule was quite a busy one, taking him around the city from dawn till dusk all week.
By Saturday, Hokuto was completely exhausted. When his final filming for the week wrapped already around noon, he was dreaming of sleeping for the rest of the day and possibly the whole Sunday, too. But on the train home, he finally got the message he’d been waiting for the whole week.
Shintaro:
Hi! What’s up?
Sorry this is so last minute, but would you have time for the coffee tomorrow?
You:
Sure, I’m free all day!
What time?
Shintaro:
Is 1pm good? We could meet by the west exit at the station
You:
Okay! See you 😄
Hokuto smiled at his phone when Shintaro sent a cute dog sticker as an answer. He wanted to whoop in victory but resisted in the crowded train.
Hokuto was way too excited about just grabbing a coffee, he was aware of that. Thus, instead of spending the rest of the day sleeping like he’d first intended, he went through his wardrobe, worrying way too long for what he was going to wear. He knew what he’d want to wear: the one colorful sweater with a damaged look he had found recently at a vintage store. But come Sunday and after long consideration, Hokuto opted for a classic (though boring) style he usually wore for work, too, when he didn't want to stand out too much. Denim, black, white, nothing too loud or eccentric.
Despite the small outfit crisis, Hokuto was a bit early at the station. While waiting, he wondered about their café options, which weren’t great. There was a small, boring chain café by the opposite exit and another one at a mall nearby, and that was about it. The suburban problems.
Hokuto was just digging out his phone to check about other options, when a car right in front of the station honked, making him jump a little. Hokuto glanced up just in time to see the window rolling down and Shintaro looking out.
“Hi!” Shintaro greeted cheerfully.
“Hi,” Hokuto answered and walked up to the car, a bit dumbfounded. “Eh, you have a car?”
“Yep,” Shintaro smiled. “I thought I could drive us to this nice café my friend owns. It’s a bit farther so the car is faster than the train. If… that’s okay with you?”
“Oh. Y-yeah. Sure! That sounds good.”
Hokuto rounded the car and sat down in the front seat next to Shintaro. He was still quite surprised by the turn of events, but he had to admit this was a lot better than grabbing coffee from the café by the station.
He watched as Shintaro veered the car out of the station area, and thought to himself that someone driving shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was to him. Shintaro adjusted the radio volume and input the café’s address to the navigator.
“Sorry that it took some time to arrange this,” he then said. “The past week was pretty crazy, both work and family wise. Had some major deadlines at work and Chiyo had a small flu so she couldn’t be in the daycare...”
“Oh! Is she better already?”
“Yeah, luckily. She’s at my parents’ now for the weekend, so it’s rare free time for me.” Shintaro grinned while glancing at Hokuto.
Hokuto hesitated some seconds before asking the question he’d been wondering about the most.
”So… it’s just you and her? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“No, not at all,” Shintaro said right away, sounding easy-going. “But yep, just me and her.”
Hokuto nodded slowly, suddenly unsure how to react or what to say. It was like he’d somewhat expected, but now he wasn’t sure how it made him feel. Dozens of new questions also popped into his mind. Shintaro seemed to interpret his silence correctly as he let out a short laugh.
“There’s nothing dramatic though. I had this friends-with-benefits thing with a girl back in university. We were careful, but somehow she got pregnant anyway. Well, we discussed it and decided to have the baby, but right before it was born, she felt that she wasn’t ready for it after all and was already thinking of giving the baby up for adoption. I did want it though, I had always wanted kids so I thought why not now. So it’s been just me and Chiyo from the start! Well, my family and especially mum has helped a lot along the way...”
“Wow…” Hokuto muttered, impressed and amazed. He thought of himself back in university and tried imagining that fellow with a newborn baby. It was impossible. “It must’ve been tough! All alone.”
“Yeah, well,” Shintaro shrugged. “It’s still tough, but that’s parenting for you. But it’s all worth it in the end.”
Shintaro’s smile was soft and Hokuto answered it, nodding silently, though of course he couldn’t even start imagining the hardships or joys of parenting. But he thought of Chiyo in the swings, giggling gleefully at him, and maybe he got it even a little bit.
“But enough about me! Or us. What about you?” Shintaro then asked. “What do you do? How did you end up in the same sleepy neighborhood?”
Hokuto chuckled. He wasn’t good at this, talking about himself, but Shintaro had just told about such personal stuff so he supposed he’d have to step up, too. He took a deep breath before answering.
“Well, I live there since the rent is quite cheap. And I’m an actor. Or that’s what I do most of the time.”
“What? Really?”
“Really.”
“You mean, you’ve been on TV and stuff?”
“Well, only in very small roles so far...”
“But that’s so cool!” Shintaro looked at him with widened eyes and an impressed look on his face. “You gotta tell me the dramas, I’ll check them out!”
“Alright,” Hokuto promised, smiling to himself. He hadn’t expected such an enthusiastic response, but it seemed that Shintaro liked watching dramas and movies. He proceeded on asking which productions Hokuto had been on and which celebrities he possibly knew (“You’re friends with Kikuchi Fuma? That’s nuts!”) and whether he could tell any backstage gossip.
Hokuto found it surprisingly easy to talk with Shintaro, with him being so easygoing, frank and sincere. He was genuinely interested in Hokuto’s job, and was impressed with his roles, though Hokuto himself didn’t really find his countless times as an extra or a minor background character that special. But Shintaro’s excited reaction warmed his heart anyway.
They chatted pleasantly all the way to the café, which turned out to be somewhere on the back alleys of Kichijoji. Shintaro parked the car and they walked the rest of the way to a small, fancy looking place with concrete floor, chipboard counter and walls full of colorful posters and flyers. The guy behind the counter was as colorful as the interior; a blue cap, bright orange T-shirt and neon colored accessories was a combination that amazed even Hokuto. The guy seemed to know Shintaro, as he exclaimed happily the moment they stepped in.
“Heey! Long time no see! Where have you been?”
“Oh, you know,” Shintaro sighed and leaned against the counter. “Juggling work and family.”
“Hmm, I get that. But nice to see you!”
“Likewise,” Shintaro smiled and then turned to Hokuto, introducing them. “This is Jesse. And this is Matsumura Hokuto. We live close by.”
Hokuto bowed at Jesse quickly, while Jesse’s eyebrows jumped comically and a wide grin spread on his face.
“Oh! Are you guys... you know...” He pointed a finger between Shintaro and Hokuto, grinning widely, and suddenly Hokuto felt his face growing hot.
“What? No, no!” Shintaro denied quickly, letting out a laugh that sounded a bit strained to Hokuto. He noticed Shintaro’s ear turning red. “Like I said, we live in the same area. He’s helped out with Chiyo a couple of times.”
“Alright, alright, just teasing a bit!” Jesse said, all chipper, and handed Hokuto the menu. “What can I get you?”
Hokuto scanned the menu card and panicked at the long list of different sorts of coffees and teas. In the end he just went with a basic cappuccino.
“I’ll get that for you, you can go and take a seat,” Shintaro told him and Hokuto thankfully hurried to a vacant table by the back wall. He sat down, still feeling a bit awkward after Jesse’s sudden suggestion at the counter. And sure, of course Shintaro would deny it, but it still stung somewhat. Hokuto looked at the counter and saw Shintaro chatting cheerfully with Jesse while the barista made their drinks. Hokuto had yet more questions in his mind.
After a moment, Shintaro walked to the table with their coffees, sitting down opposite Hokuto.
“Sorry about Jesse,” he apologized immediately in a low voice. “He has a weird sense of humor, and he’s half American, so sometimes there’s no filter whatsoever…”
Shintaro looked sincerely apologetic, and even a bit uneasy, so Hokuto gave him his best reassuring smile.
“No worries,” he convinced and took a sip of his coffee. He couldn’t help adding jokingly: “So do you usually bring all your dates to this café?”
Shintaro laughed heartily at that. “What dates? Haven’t really had any in years. That’s what single parenting does to you.”
Hokuto hummed at that. Understandable, he supposed. His small joke had managed to lighten the atmosphere again, and they fell easily back to their earlier conversation. All in all, it was a pleasant not-date. The coffee was good, and Hokuto enjoyed himself and Shintaro’s company.
He wouldn’t lie, he’d have liked it if it had been a date, but he supposed he’d just have to settle for being Shintaro’s friendly neighbor. Or maybe even a friend?
That would be good too, Hokuto thought when they were driving back from the café. Maybe his crush would fade away in time, like they usually did. He leaned languidly back in the seat, listening to Shintaro’s long story about a time Jesse had watched Chiyo for half a day, barely managing. Hokuto listened to Shintaro’s laughter and kept glancing at his handsome side profile or his hands on the steering wheel. It would fade...
Before dropping him off, when Shintaro suggested they should do this again some time, Hokuto happily agreed.
“And if you ever need help with Chiyo, like someone to watch over her, you can call me,” he said. “I think I could manage with her.”
“You definitely could,” Shintaro agreed. “Much better than Jesse, I’m sure. Thanks!”
After one last smile and a wave, Shintaro drove off, and Hokuto was left alone with his overthinking mind and pining heart.
On occasion, Hokuto met up with some of his actor colleagues for lunch or dinner when their schedules allowed. It had been a while, but now they’d finally managed to agree on a lunch meeting again. Mone and Fuma were both busier than he was, real actors in Hokuto’s opinion, and it was always nice to share work related thoughts and worries with them. This time they spent the first half of lunch catching up, talking about their latest productions and upcoming projects.
Fuma and Mone were supposed to appear on a same variety show soon, and as they got engrossed in discussing that, Hokuto quickly checked his phone which had been vibrating on the table a couple of times.
He found a string of messages from Shintaro. They’d been chatting quite frequently after the coffee outing, which Hokuto was glad about. It was all friendly and casual, like it was supposed to be, but Hokuto still let himself enjoy the delight he felt when reading Shintaro’s messages or seeing the selfies of him and Chiyo he sometimes sent, too. They cheered him up.
This time was no different. Shintaro had sent a picture of an Elsa doll he’d found in his laptop case. My assistant for today?
Hokuto was just typing out an answer, when Mone’s voice interrupted him.
“Who are you texting?” she asked, peering at Hokuto curiously.
“Uhh, just a friend,” Hokuto answered quickly, putting down his phone. He tried to look nonchalant but could feel his cheeks growing hot under Mone’s weirdly knowing look.
And indeed, also Fuma raised his brows and he and Mone exchanged meaningful glances.
“Do you smile so lovingly at all your friends' texts?” Fuma wanted to know. Mone nudged him with her elbow.
Hokuto sighed and felt like shrinking before the two. “It’s Shintaro,” he finally admitted, talking mostly to Mone.
“Oh! That hot neighbor of yours? You’re texting now?!”
“Wait, what’s this?” Fuma inquired immediately. Mone summarized the situation to Fuma based on the brief summary Hokuto had given her earlier. When Hokuto now listened to the report himself, it sadly sounded much ado about nothing.
Fuma and Mone seemed interested, though.
“You like this guy?” Fuma asked in his straight-forward manner. “You should hook up with him!”
“Thanks, great advice, Fuma,” Hokuto retorted dryly.
Fuma spread his hands like it really was great advice in his opinion, while Mone asked gently: “You’d want something more than just a hookup?”
Hokuto just shrugged, trying to downplay his feelings for the others, as well as himself. “I don’t even know him that well yet. And I don’t know if he’s into guys at all… I mean, he’s dated girls before so it’s not looking great. But I’d want to be his friend nonetheless.”
“I get that,” Mone said sympathetically, squeezing Hokuto’s arm. “So be his friend, get to know each other more. You never know what’s going to happen!”
Hokuto smiled at her, grateful for her kind words.
“Yeah, I hear quite many guys are bi-curious nowadays, so you never know,” Fuma mused meanwhile, sipping his coffee.
“Anyway, happy pining!”
–
On the same evening, while Hokuto was on his way home after grabbing dinner from the nearby convenience store, there was a new message from Shintaro.
Shintaro:
Heyy bit of an emergency here!
What are you doing tomorrow?
You:
Nothing much. Why?
Shintaro:
Could you watch Chiyo for a couple of hours? 🙏 I have a sudden meeting at the office…
You:
Of course! When and where?
The next day around noon, Hokuto rang Shintaro’s door bell, feeling both nervous and excited. He had promised to help with Chiyo if needed and had really meant it, he’d just never thought the opportunity would present itself so quickly. And Hokuto had zero babysitting experience, so he really wished he could somehow just wing it.
“Hi! Welcome,” Shintaro greeted cheerfully when opening the door and letting Hokuto in.
He was a bit taken aback by Shintaro’s appearance; so far Hokuto had only seen him in very casual clothing like shorts and jeans, but now he was clearly dressed for work. He wore dark slacks, white dress shirt and a tie and that style, while foreign to Hokuto’s eye, looked as good on him as anything else.
“Thank you so much for this, really!” Shintaro said when they walked further in. “I’ll be in your debt again. You can think how I can repay this time.”
“No need for that,” Hokuto chuckled. “I’m happy to help.”
Shintaro didn’t look convinced. “Well, we can discuss that later. Anyway, welcome to our place!”
Hokuto looked around. The apartment looked modern yet cozy. The short hallway from the foyer led to a combined kitchen and living room area. Big windows on the back wall showed a spacious balcony. On his right Hokuto saw two doors, one of which was open, revealing part of a room that was clearly Chiyo’s: bright colors and toys scattered around.
“Make yourself at home,” Shintaro urged. “And try to pass the time while I’m away. You can play with her, or maybe watch a movie, if she wants. She usually sleeps about an hour before dinner. If not, she gets cranky later, so I do recommend the nap. You can read a book to her and she should pass out pretty easily. And there’s food in the fridge, for both of you. You just need to cook the rice. Hmm, what else? You can message me if anything comes up, I’ll try to answer as soon as I can.”
“Thanks, I think we’ll manage,” Hokuto assured, while trying to make a mental note about everything Shintaro had told him.
“And just be strict with her if needed,” Shintaro said. “She can be a bit defiant and cranky at times, especially if she’s tired or hungry.”
“Alright.”
Right then, like summoned, Chiyo peeked out from her room. Hokuto smiled and waved at her while Shintaro walked up to her, crouching next to the door.
“Chiyo, papa will go to work now. Hokuto will be here with you. Be nice like we agreed, okay?”
The girl stared at Hokuto and then leaned towards Shintaro, whispering something to him shyly.
“Yeah, you can watch Frozen, if you want,” Shintaro answered her question out loud, glancing at Hokuto with a grin. “You like that movie, don’t you, Hokuto?”
“Oh, I love it,” Hokuto said right away, smiling encouragingly at Chiyo.
“Great. I have to go now. Be a good girl, Chiyo,” Shintaro said, pecking his daughter’s cheek and ruffling her hair before standing up again. He picked up a suit jacket from a kitchen chair, putting it on and grabbing a laptop case from the kitchen counter.
“Like I said, message if there’s anything at all…”
“I shall, but no worries,” Hokuto reassured. “Go to your meeting. We’ll manage!”
Shintaro gave him the warmest smile and a sudden squeeze on the shoulder, making Hokuto’s stomach jump a little.
“Thanks, really. I’ll see you later.” Shintaro marched to the foyer, putting on his shoes and turning to wave to Chiyo one last time. “Bye bye, Chiyo!”
“Bye, papa,” Chiyo waved back.
Shintaro closed the door, and Hokuto let out the breath he had been holding for some reason. He then turned to look at the little girl who stood by the living room. She glanced at Hokuto, still seeming a bit shy.
Hokuto crouched down to Chiyo’s level like Shintaro had done. “Well, Chiyo-chan, what shall we do? Do you want to watch Frozen?”
Turned out that she really did. Though she had concentration only for the first 20 minutes or so, before her toys started being more interesting. She brought Hokuto the Anna doll and kept Else herself, watching the Let it go scene intently with it. After that, she started playing something that Hokuto had a hard time following, but he kept Anna close by in case she would be needed.
Shintaro sent him a couple of texts of things he had forgotten to mention, like where Hokuto could find diapers, how the rice cooker worked, what to do if she refused to eat and so on. Hokuto sent him many random stickers, repeating again how they would be fine.
While Hokuto was writing, Chiyo walked up to him and nudged his knee. “No phone!” She ordered, making Hokuto smile.
“Sorry! I was answering to papa. Hey, do you want to take a picture and send it to him?”
“Yes!” The girl got excited, jumping up and down. Hokuto sat down on the floor beside Chiyo, raising his phone for a selfie. They both smiled and made peace signs for the camera.
The concept of a selfie was clearly familiar to Chiyo; she knew how to pose, and after Hokuto had taken a few pictures, she immediately leaned closer to see them.
“Look, they’re very cute!” Hokuto said as he showed her the photos. Chiyo leaned against his shoulder and giggled happily. Hokuto felt his heart melting, the sound was probably the most adorable thing he’d ever heard.
He was totally captivated by the small girl. And her father. Shintaro answered their selfie with a heart and sent back a photo of himself making a bored face at an office. Hokuto wanted to answer with a heart as well but chose a fighting type sticker instead.
After the pictures, Chiyo was much more familiar with Hokuto, the earlier shyness all gone. He had mentally braced himself for tantrums or other challenges, remembering what Shintaro had said, but the day was surprisingly smooth sailing altogether. Chiyo played nicely by herself, went to bed when Hokuto suggested a nap and indeed fell asleep quickly while he sat by the bed, reading a Moomin book to her.
While she slept, Hokuto tidied the toys from the living room and prepared the food. Chiyo woke up by herself before the hour was up and padded quietly to the kitchen while Hokuto was setting up the table.
”Morning!” he greeted, petting her head gently. ”Are you hungry?”
The girl nodded and climbed on a chair on her own. She had cute practice chopsticks, but Hokuto had also prepared a spoon and fork for her since he didn’t know which she’d want to use. He also made sure to cut the hamburger steak Shintaro had prepared into small enough pieces. Chiyo ate with a good appetite, even the cucumbers and carrots. She behaved so well it was almost weird, and said a proper and very adorable thank you after the meal.
When she was done with dinner, Chiyo disappeared to her room and Hokuto quickly finished his food and cleaned up the table. Then, he dropped down on the couch, letting out a small sigh. He wondered if he could quickly check his phone while Chiyo was playing on her own…
As soon as the thought occurred, the girl trotted back and climbed beside Hokuto on the couch. She was holding a pile of books in her hands, looking expectant.
“Shall we read something?” Hokuto suggested, and Chiyo nodded promptly. She made herself comfortable beside Hokuto and chose a Peppa Pig book from her pile. Hokuto took it and read the name out loud. He noted that Chiyo’s attention was already keenly on the book in his hands, and suddenly Hokuto felt weird pressure to read the book well enough for her.
He wasn’t that familiar with Peppa Pig but he tried his best at guessing how each character could sound. He made his voice gruff for the father, higher for the mother and high-pitched and squeaky for the kids. Chiyo seemed to enjoy his arrangement, especially the gruff voiced father pig. She wanted to hear the father pig’s lines at least three times before they could move on.
Hokuto was so into reading and acting out the characters, laughing with Chiyo, that he didn’t hear the front door at first. Only when Shintaro called “I’m home!”, they noticed his return. Chiyo greeted her father happily, and Shintaro walked straight to the living room, discarding his jacket and case on the way. His tie was gone and he had rolled up his shirt sleeves.
“Hi! How have you been?” He walked to the couch and sat down by Chiyo, accepting an immediate hug from her. “Have you been nice to Hokuto?”
“Yes!”
Shintaro grinned at him over Chiyo’s head, raising a brow like asking if that was true.
“She has,” Hokuto smiled. “We’ve had a nice time, right?”
“Yes,” Chiyo chirped cheerfully. “We watched Frozen and played and Hokuto read me a book.”
“Yes, I heard that,” Shintaro said, smiling, stroking Chiyo’s hair. “Hokuto reads better than papa, right?”
“Yeah, he did funny voices,” Chiyo agreed, and Hokuto raised his hands on his cheeks, feeling a bit embarrassed that Shintaro had heard his silly versions of Peppa Pig characters. He kind of wished the couch would just swallow him.
“As expected of an actor,” Shintaro grinned.
Done with the greetings, Chiyo quickly jumped down from the couch and hurried back to her room. Hokuto, trying to shake off his embarrassment, shut the book that was still on his lap, putting it aside.
“So no tantrums or anything at all?” Shintaro confirmed in a low voice, sounding surprised.
“Nope,” Hokuto said. “I was mentally prepared, but she was so well-behaved the whole day.”
“Wow. Okay then, would you be ready to give up your job as an actor and be her permanent babysitter instead?” Shintaro then asked. ”You’re clearly a natural with her.” He had turned towards Hokuto, resting his arm on the back of the couch. Now that Chiyo wasn’t between them anymore, he was sitting surprisingly close.
“Depends how much you’d pay,” Hokuto answered, playing along.
”Oh, I’d give you a good offer for sure,” Shintaro promised right away, his smile playful and warm and wow it made Hokuto’s stomach do flips again. As did his next words:
“Anything to keep you.”
”Then I’ll consider.”
His heart drumming in his ears, Hokuto turned slightly towards Shintaro, who was still watching him. His gaze was somewhat piercing and unreadable. The mood had suddenly shifted into something heavy and charged, and Hokuto felt his skin tingle. Were they… flirting? Hokuto was definitely toying on the edge, but what about Shintaro? He was very aware of Shintaro’s closeness and his hand on the couch back, close to Hokuto’s neck and face. He wanted to simultaneously lean closer and pull back.
Hokuto shifted ever so slightly, his eyes dropping to Shintaro’s lips, all other thoughts momentarily fading away. He saw Shintaro’s hand moving, the fingertips brushing against his skin already, when Chiyo ran laughing back to the living room and straight to the couch, startling them both. Shintaro’s hand was gone in a second, as was the moment.
Hokuto made way for the girl, pulling back a bit while Shintaro let Chiyo climb on his lap. The girl was babbling something about her toys, and Shintaro listened patiently, chuckling a bit. Meanwhile, Hokuto busied himself with collecting the books they’d been reading earlier to a neat pile on the living room table. He felt awkward suddenly, not wanting to look at Shintaro.
“I–I think I’ll go home now,” Hokuto said once Chiyo had quieted down, and sprang up on his feet.
“Oh, okay.” There was a hint of surprise in Shintaro’s voice. “You’re welcome to stay still, I was just thinking of making some tea…?”
“No, I really gotta go. I–I have an early morning tomorrow.”
Hokuto hurried to grab his bag he’d left by the kitchen counter. He spared a quick glance towards Shintaro, who’d got up as well, holding Chiyo in his arms. They walked to the foyer in Hokuto’s tow, waiting while he put on his shoes.
“Bye bye, oniisan,” Chiyo wished cutely, pulling at Hokuto’s heartstrings yet again. As did her father with his stupidly handsome face and lovely smile, that now looked a bit subdued and more reserved than before. Hokuto felt bad, he really did, but he needed to retreat for now. His mind was still full of Shintaro’s earlier gaze and closeness and he needed some distance.
“Bye, Chiyo,” he smiled and ruffled her hair. “I’ll come again.”
“Thank you for today, really,” Shintaro said. “You saved us.”
Hokuto waved his thanks away. “It’s nothing. I’m happy to help! Well… See you.”
Opening the door, he waved at Chiyo and gave Shintaro one quick glance, an awful stiff smile on his face.
“Yeah, see you. Good night!”
–
On top of awful, Hokuto felt kind of hot and bothered the whole way home, so when he reached his flat, he decided to text Mone. He needed to vent to someone, and he hoped she would be more understanding than Fuma.
Turned out he was wrong. After he’d hastily recounted the situation:
Mone:
Wait what?? So did something actually happen between you two?
You:
No but if Chiyo hadn’t come I would’ve probably kissed him…
Mone:
.....
What happened to just being friends at first?
Seems like you took Fuma’s advice instead of mine
You:
NO 😭😭
I don’t know what happened…
What should I do?
Mone:
Well sounds like you should talk with him
And not run away
You:
☹️
Thought you’d say that…
Mone:
But think about the bright side: seems like he may be bi-curious after all!
Grabbing his things, Hokuto prepared to go out for lunch during the filming break. There was free catering on the set but he felt like eating something different that day; he knew there was a nice Italian place just around the corner…
While walking there, Hokuto answered Mone’s messages she’d sent while he had been filming. After closing their conversation, his eyes automatically fell on his and Shintaro’s now quiet Line chat down on the list and he felt a faint pang of guilt. Lately it happened every time Hokuto opened the app. His last short answer there was like an inculpatory, constant reminder of his inadequacy.
Hokuto closed the app and hurried his steps.
A delicious pasta portion lifted his mood a bit. That, and all the memes in the group chat with Fuma and Mone. Hokuto was just finishing the food when his phone suddenly rang with an unknown number. Before answering, he thought in passing how there was only one call he was really expecting at the moment.
But it couldn’t be…
“Hello?”
—
“They called me earlier. The agency I applied to,” Hokuto told Mone over dinner later that day, grinning widely.
“What? Really?” Mone looked excited on his behalf, too. She put down her chopsticks and happily clapped her hands. “That’s amazing news! And? Are you meeting them?”
Hokuto nodded. “On Friday.”
“They’ll take you, I’m sure of that,” Mone said immediately. “The meeting is often only a formality.”
“Aah, don’t say that!” Hokuto pressed hands on his cheeks, equally thrilled and frightened. He had applied to the bigger agency in hopes of getting more and bigger roles, as he felt he was ready for that, but he’d never expected to get a call-back so quickly. Now his next big step was much closer, which only meant it’d be that much more regrettable if he didn’t succeed. But truth be told, it soothed him that Mone seemed so confident about the matter.
“You’ll do great,” she told him, smiling warmly. Hokuto tried his best to believe her.
They ate in silence for a moment before Mone spoke up again. “In other news… How’s it going with the hot father?”
“Uh…” was all Hokuto managed.
Mone gave him a pointed look. ”So you haven’t talked with him?”
”No… Not yet.” He added when he saw Mone’s expression. ”I…” I’ve been busy and tired, and have tried to find the right words and the right time, is what he wanted to say, but he knew they were just excuses. Truth was that the mere idea of talking about this with Shintaro was scary; he didn’t know what he’d say and how. What if he had misinterpreted the situation and was now overthinking it like so many times before? What if bringing it up with Shintaro would put him off? He wouldn’t want to lose Shintaro’s friendship over this.
Mone clearly waited for Hokuto to continue somehow, but he didn’t know how. He poked his rice in silence, shrugging in the end.
“I can’t force you of course,” Mone said eventually. “And I know it’s hard, but it’s very often worth a try.”
“I know,” Hokuto sighed.
“How’s it with you guys now? Have you met lately?”
“No… Not since the babysitting. We’ve messaged a couple of times but it’s been pretty quiet. I bet he’s also busy.”
Mone gave him the look again. “Sounds to me like you’re avoiding him.”
Hokuto couldn’t contradict that, so he just pouted. He knew she was right, and that he should just take her advice on everything. It didn’t make it any easier for him, though.
“Can we talk about something else?”
Mone pursed her lips, looking a bit discontent, but did comply with his wish.
—
Hokuto knew his plan of avoiding Shintaro was lousy and most likely short-lived, but the actual shortness of it still surprised him.
It was a Tuesday evening and Hokuto was returning from work, already dreaming of a bath and some good drama episode to rewind. He crossed the road in front of the station and took a right to a smaller street.
Hokuto noticed them approaching already from a distance, on a smaller street on his left. A pair of an adult and a child. They could’ve been anyone, but the closer they got, the more sure he was. He recognized Shintaro’s sporty style and Chiyo’s pigtails.
His heart speeding up embarrassingly much, Hokuto considered his options. He could turn around and take a detour home, or speed up so he could slip past them unnoticed, or just stop there and loiter by the building until they were farther. He weighted all this while walking forward like on autopilot, approaching the crossroads where their streets met. His feet took him to the crossing, and he stopped at the red light, glancing at Shintaro and Chiyo who just started crossing the intersecting street.
As they walked closer, Shintaro lifted his gaze and finally noticed Hokuto. His first look of surprise quickly changed into a genuine smile, making Hokuto’s stomach twist in delight and regret. He knew Shintaro would stop and wait for him, and sure enough, once they’d gotten over the street, Shintaro stopped Chiyo and pointed Hokuto to her. Upon seeing him, the little girl also broke into a smile and started bouncing up and down, waving at Hokuto happily.
Hokuto chuckled and waved back, wondering how he thought he could ever distance himself from the family for good.
The light turned green.
“Hi,” Hokuto greeted when he walked to the pair.
“Evening!” Shintaro smiled. “It’s been a while. Coming from work?”
“Yeah,” Hokuto just said curtly. He was already preparing some half-assed excuse for why he had been so quiet on LINE lately, but Shintaro didn’t touch the subject.
“We’re just coming from the nearby bathhouse,” Shintaro told him instead. “Chiyo likes it so we try to go once a week, right?”
Chiyo nodded emphatically. “And I get a soda or ice cream afterwards.”
“That sounds nice,” Hokuto said, smiling at her.
“Since you’re here now,” Shintaro mused and patted his daughter on the shoulder, “didn’t you have something you wanted to ask Hokuto, Chiyo?”
“Oh, what’s that?” Hokuto prompted, since he noticed the girl looked a bit shy suddenly, leaning against Shintaro’s leg and avoiding his eyes.
“There’s a sports day on Friday,” Chiyo said in a small voice. “Do you want to come and watch?”
“At her kindergarten, that is,” Shintaro specified, stroking Chiyo’s hair. “When they were told they could invite family and friends to watch, she immediately wanted to ask you.”
“Aw, really?” Hokuto felt his heart melting yet again because of Chiyo. “What time is it?”
“It starts around nine and goes until one-ish. You can come whenever, if you’re just free. I’ll also be there, helping with setting up and stuff.”
Shintaro’s smile was ever so warm, and Hokuto thought he saw some anticipation on his face, too. It was an easy decision, really, and Hokuto was suddenly very glad he had fixed the agency meeting for the afternoon on Friday.
“I’m free, so I’ll be there,” he said, smiling, looking from Chiyo to Shintaro.
“Great! Heard that, Chiyo?” Shintaro was beaming. “I’ll text you the address and other details.”
“Thanks. See you then.”
“See you!”
—
And just like that, the agency meeting wasn’t the only nerve-wrecking occasion anymore.
Before Friday, Hokuto had time to go through a whirlwind of emotions daily, from one extremity to another. One second he was excited to see Shintaro again properly, and confident that now he would talk with him, and the next he was thinking of canceling after all.
He didn’t cancel in the end, and when Friday finally rolled around, Hokuto was equally excited and nervous. He picked a summery smart casual outfit since he’d decided to go to the meeting straight from the kindergarten. He wished he wouldn’t stand out too much among parents and families with his loose-fit slacks and a simple white tee.
The walk to the kindergarten was shorter than Hokuto had thought, so he was there already a bit before nine. There were signs for the sports day at the front gate, and following them, Hokuto rounded the building. There he saw a sand field with stalls and tents on the side, and groups of children and adults already bustling around.
Hokuto walked in from a side gate, scanning the area and trying to spot either Shintaro or Chiyo. The children were all wearing cute red and blue caps so it was hard to tell them apart from the distance.
“Hokuto!”
Hokuto spun towards the voice and saw Shintaro waving at him under the closest tent. He broke into a smile and hurried his steps.
“Good morning!” Shintaro greeted him. His smile was as dazzling as ever, no matter the early-ish hour. He was also dressed for the summer already, looking like a handsome surfer with his beard, shorts and sandals.
While Hokuto was secretly eyeing his get-up, Shintaro commented on his: “You look very stylish today.”
“Uh thanks, I have a work meeting right after this,” Hokuto said, smoothing his slacks self-consciously.
“Yeah? Thanks for taking the time to come here, really. Chiyo will be so happy. She’s somewhere there,” Shintaro waved at his hand towards the flock of kids on the field.
As he was talking, Shintaro was unpacking small juice cartons on the table from a cardboard box. Hokuto also saw water containers, packs of paper cups, tissues and so on on other tables under the tent.
“Oh yeah,” Shintaro said upon noticing Hokuto’s look, “one parent got sick, so turns out I’m now in charge of drinks. There’s water and juice for the kids and some coffee for the parents at the back.”
“Do you need help with anything?” Hokuto asked when he watched Shintaro’s unpacking.
“No, no! You’re here as a guest. And you definitely don’t need to stay here with me if you don’t want to, I think the other spectators will be over there…”
“I don’t mind being here,” Hokuto said instantly. There was a good enough view to the field and to the kids from the tent. “And I really can help, if needed.”
“Alright,” Shintaro smiled. “But for now, take it easy. Have a coffee.”
That was an offer Hokuto could’t decline so he went and helped himself to a cup. He took a sip of the steaming coffee and sighed, content.
”Actually, could you pour one for me, too?” Shintaro asked. He seemed to be almost done with the unpacking.
”Sure. Milk, sugar?”
”Black.”
Hokuto brought the cup to him, the paper hot under his fingers. Yet, what almost burned more, was the (deliberate? accidental?) brush of Shintaro’s fingers against his when he passed the cup.
”Thank you.”
The kids were just starting their warm-up exercises with the teachers, so they stood and watched that for a while. Shintaro pointed Chiyo out to Hokuto who still hadn’t managed to spot the girl in the flock.
The kids did some adorable dance as a warm-up, then there was a tug-of-war and a relay race. Hokuto and Shintaro watched the sports keenly, laughing together and cheering loudly for Chiyo. Shintaro also took dozens of photos and videos of Chiyo with her group, and occasionally turned the phone towards Hokuto as well.
”What are you doing?” Hokuto asked with a laugh, again feeling self-conscious.
“Taking your photo,” Shintaro grinned. “Such a cool and stylish spectator at a kindergarten’s sports day! You don’t see that every day.”
Hokuto snorted. “What about you?”
“What? I’m not stylish! And not cool enough either, as Chiyo keeps telling me lately.”
“Well, she can be mistaken, too,” Hokuto muttered to himself.
When Shintaro had turned his phone back towards the kids, Hokuto fished his own phone from his pocket and tried snapping some photos, too. And if Shintaro happened to be in the same frame as the kids in the background, well, it was merely a coincidence.
After the first two games, the kids came to pick up drinks from their tent and for a moment Shintaro and Hokuto were busy fetching juice and pouring and passing water to the small players. When Chiyo came up she waved happily at Shintaro, and once she noticed Hokuto, she squealed adorably and gave Hokuto a high five before accepting her juice.
“Good luck, Chiyo! I was watching you,” Hokuto told her and the girl bounced up and down excitedly.
“We won the relay!”
“I saw. Congrats!”
Hokuto gave Chiyo a quick pat on the head before the girl hurried off with her group again. When he turned, he saw Shintaro watching him with a curious expression, but a small smile on his face. Hokuto returned the smile and felt the oh so familiar twist in his stomach again.
He wondered what Shintaro was thinking. The other seemed so chipper all in all, almost flirty with his words and demeanor. Hokuto didn’t know what to make of it. He enjoyed himself, greatly, more than he’d thought; the forenoon was passing by in a blur in the tent with Shintaro.
It was both a curse and a blessing to be so close with each other all the time. While they handled the drinks and watched the games, there was more (perhaps accidental) brushing of hands and fingers, light touches on Hokuto’s arm or the small of his back when Shintaro would pass him. Hokuto could smell his perfume, and a couple of times caught himself staring at Shintaro’s lips when he was standing close by.
The thought of the talk was nagging somewhere at the back of Hokuto’s mind the whole time, but whatever chances there were passed by with him not being able to open his mouth. And his mind being this mushy, pining mess didn’t help the cause at all.
“Excuse me, are you busy right now?”
Hokuto was snapped out of his thoughts when a supposed staff member guy appeared by the tent. His smile was friendly when he looked at them, and Shintaro’s answer to him was familiar.
“Nope. What’s up, Kochi?”
“Could you help carry the empty boxes from the lunch tent to the kitchens? They’re busy preparing the food and the boxes are in the way.”
“Of course!” Shintaro glanced at Hokuto. “And if I get help, it’ll be even quicker?”
“Sure,” Hokuto said right away. The staff guy looked at him and bowed his head.
“This is Kochi Yugo, the teacher of Chiyo’s group here,” Shintaro introduced him to Hokuto. “And this is Matsumura Hokuto, a friend who’s helping out with Chiyo from time to time.”
“Nice to meet you,” Kochi smiled. “I hope you’ve enjoyed our event.”
“I have, thank you,” Hokuto said sincerely, bowing in turn.
A friend…
They picked up the empty boxes from the nearby tent and Hokuto followed Shintaro towards the kindergarten buildings. There were multiple of them, and Shintaro led them between two, clearly knowing his way around. The more they walked, the quieter it became when the noises of the sports event were left behind. Hokuto hadn’t even realized how loud it had been.
“Okay, we can enter here,” Shintaro said, sliding a door open and kicking off his shoes at the entrance. “This is where Chiyo’s group is usually.”
Hokuto followed suit, and couldn’t help a smile when they walked through a couple of rooms full of small furniture; tables, chairs, coat racks, a plastic yellow kitchen set on one corner. The walls were full of colorful educational posters of animals, plants and hiraganas and countless adorable arts and crafts pieces, like red and blue koi carp streamers for Children’s Day. All the rooms were deserted as every adult and child was outdoors right then.
“Everything okay?” Shintaro asked suddenly when they were walking through a gymnastics room. “You’re kinda quiet.”
Hokuto blinked and shook himself mentally. “Y-yeah. I was just thinking… About the introduction just now. Are we friends?” His heart was suddenly pounding like crazy. Was this finally it?
“Are we not?” Shintaro glanced questioningly at him while sliding open another door that clearly led to a staff area. “I mean, I think… Wait. Let’s get the boxes first, the kitchen is right there.”
Shintaro jerked his jaw towards the corridor, and Hokuto stepped in past him, immediately spotting the sign for the kitchen down the hall. They left the boxes by the kitchen door as instructed.
“Okay, there!” Shintaro said as he stood back up, dusting off his hands for good measure. Then, he turned back to Hokuto. “So…”
Hokuto took a deep breath, bracing himself mentally for whatever was coming. The corridor they were in was narrow and cramped so they stood rather close to each other. Hokuto felt cold sweat on his skin despite the air being stagnant and warm.
“You asked, are we friends?” Shintaro started, glancing at Hokuto quickly. “I… want to say that we are.”
Hokuto felt his stomach drop a bit in disappointment.
“But...” Shintaro glanced at him again, and only then Hokuto realized that Shintaro was maybe a little nervous, too.
“I don’t know if it’s just me, but I… I think I’ve felt like there’s something here. Between us?”
Shintaro’s eyes were bright and piercing when they looked at him. Hokuto felt his skin prickle, and his heart was hammering against his ribcage like it wanted to break out. Was he hearing it right…?
”Of course,” Shintaro continued hastily, reading his short, stunned silence wrong, ”if it’s just me, then sorry for this—”
”No,” Hokuto cut him off. He felt his voice trembling, felt like his whole body was trembling. But he forced out the next words.
”I mean, it’s—it’s not just you. I… I like you. Have liked for a while already.”
The instant relief and delight was apparent on Shintaro’s face. He bit back a smile. ”Really? Me too. I just… I didn’t dare to hope.”
“I didn’t dare,” Hokuto huffed with a laugh, to which Shintaro joined. The laughter and the sudden relief that washed over him (Shintaro liked him too?!), left Hokuto almost weak at the knees. He squeezed his hands into fists.
“Ah, my hands are shaking,” he blurted out. “Actually, my whole body is shaking.”
“Come here,” Shintaro said instantly, opening his arms. He waited for Hokuto to take a step closer, then pulled him against himself. Hokuto wrapped his arms around Shintaro, exhaled all the air he’d been holding in, and relaxed into the hug. Shintaro was warm and solid, his hand smoothing reassuringly along Hokuto’s back.
“Better?” Shintaro asked after a moment.
Hokuto nodded and leaned back enough to look at him. Their faces were mere centimeters apart, and Shintaro’s eyes and smile were warm when he looked at Hokuto. He was so handsome. Hokuto felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach and shivers running down his spine, but now it was all pleasant and exhilarating.
He noticed Shintaro’s eyes flicking between his eyes and lips.
“Can I…?”
Hokuto nodded and already inched closer, chasing for the kiss he’d been secretly desiring the whole day. He was eager, but so was Shintaro; he was kissing him back with the same intensity. The kisses quickly turned longer and deeper, and the second Hokuto felt Shintaro’s tongue brushed his lips, he opened his mouth and let him in. Shintaro’s beard tickled his skin, and he moaned into the kiss.
Hokuto sank his hand into Shintaro’s hair, while Shintaro slid his to the small of his back, pressing Hokuto closer.
Hokuto didn’t know if it was seconds or minutes before they finally pulled apart, both a bit out of breath. They kept close though, arms around each other. Hokuto found it hard to stop grinning. His lips were tingling nicely, and he could’ve stayed there for the rest of the day, kissing Shintaro, no matter the cramped and stuffy corridor. But he knew the clock was ticking.
“We should probably get back,” Shintaro said, like reading his thoughts, though he sounded very reluctant.
“Yeah, I need to leave for the work thing soon…”
“What is it, by the way? Filming?”
“No, it’s… a meeting. I applied for a bigger agency.” Upon saying that, Hokuto could feel the earlier nervousness settling in his gut again. He’d momentarily forgotten it due to Shintaro.
Shintaro raised his brows in surprise. “What? That’s huge!”
“Yeah,” Hokuto chuckled and shrugged. “I hope I get in.”
“Of course you will!” Shintaro said immediately, squeezing him in the middle. “I’ll cheer for you from here.”
“Thank you,” Hokuto smiled and leaned in for another kiss on a whim, because he could.
“Can you come over later?” Shintaro asked when they pulled apart. “When you’re free?”
“I’ll try to drop by,” Hokuto promised. “I have an early morning again tomorrow.”
“Great. One more kiss for good luck? Then we’ll go?”
—
Later on, Hokuto had no idea how he managed to commute to the agency’s headquarters, sign up for the interview at the front desk, and sit and wait for it in a fancy looking lobby, all while his mind was still in that corridor, full of Shintaro’s smile, laugh, kisses and touches… Only when his name was finally called, did Hokuto snap out of his thoughts, trying to pull himself together.
Turned out that Mone had been right – the meeting really felt more like a formality than an actual nerve-wrecking interview type of situation like Hokuto had feared. He talked with the agency’s casting director, Fukuhara-san, who was a sharp-looking yet friendly woman in her forties. She told Hokuto about the agency, and the different projects they would be able to offer him. To his surprise, it didn’t only include acting roles on TV or movies, but also possible advertisement campaigns and voice acting. The more possible cases Fukuhara-san presented him, the more excited Hokuto was.
In the end, the decision was easy, and they signed the contract papers in mutual agreement and satisfaction.
“I look forward to working with you,” Hokuto said after the signing, bowing.
“Likewise,” Fukuhara-san bowed as well, smiling warmly. “I’m sure we’ll make great progress together. And speaking of that…”
The director got up from her chair and opened the meeting room door to let in a young man. He looked as sharp as her in a neat suit and a trendy, almost idol-like haircut. His features were so fine and delicate that he looked like an idol himself.
“This is Kyomoto Taiga, he’s one of our managers. He’ll help you organize your schedule and all the projects,” Fukuhara-san told Hokuto, while Kyomoto bowed to him. “And if you ever need assistance with anything, just ask him.”
Hokuto stood up swiftly, bowing as well. “Nice to meet you, please take care of me. I haven’t had a personal manager before…”
“You can think of me as your closest co-worker, or like a teammate,” Kyomoto said with a small smile. He walked to the table, putting down a folder and a tablet he’d been carrying.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” Fukuhara-san smiled at them and then turned to Hokuto. “Welcome to the company once more, Matsumura-san. If you have any further questions or concerns, you can turn to either Kyomoto-san or myself.”
With that, she left, leaving Hokuto alone with Kyomoto. The manager gestured to Hokuto to sit down, sliding a couple of papers to him across the table.
“First, if you could fill out this information form for us. Then we can go through a couple of projects and audition offers I have for you.”
Hokuto took the form and obediently started filling it out. He halted halfway through.
Relationship status: [ ] single, [ ] in a relationship, [ ] married
“Um,” Hokuto uttered. “This relationship status section…”
“Yes?” Kyomoto looked up from his tablet. “It’s just background information for us. Like Fukuhara-san probably explained, our agency doesn’t have a dating ban or anything but we still think it’s good to be up to date with our talents’ personal lives to that extent. In case there are ever any leaks to the media or something like that.”
“Ah, yes, I understand.” Hokuto dropped his gaze back to the form, his pen hovering over the paper. Technically, he wasn’t in a relationship right then, though he supposed (and hoped) the situation would change in a couple of hours–
“Of course,” Kyomoto added then as an afterthought, “we wish you’d inform us if or when the status changes.”
Ah. “Naturally.”
Hokuto wondered how accepting the agency would be if their talent was in an open gay relationship. He could guess the answer well enough.
He crossed single on the form and moved on.
—
It was already way past 8pm when Hokuto was finally on his way home. He’d had a celebratory dinner and drinks with the new agency people, along with Kyomoto. He’d had fun, but was now absolutely drained. Nevertheless, he didn’t head home from the station.
He sent a message on the way, and by the time he was walking to Shintaro’s door, he found it already ajar. Hokuto peeked in before entering properly.
“Hello~?” he called with a low voice. Chiyo was apparently asleep already.
Shintaro appeared from the kitchen and strode to him, smiling widely. Hokuto wanted to jump at him, and the feeling seemed to be mutual as Shintaro walked straight into his arms and pulled him into a lovely, lingering kiss.
“Well, how did it go?” he asked when they’d finally pulled back enough to talk.
“Great,” Hokuto smiled. “They signed me, I have a new manager and a couple of new auditions lined up already.”
“I knew it,” Shintaro beamed at him. “Congratulations!”
Then his smile dropped a little. “But is it now bad timing for… this? Us?”
Us.
It made Hokuto’s heart flutter with happiness. He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that the two things he’d most wished for had both come true that day. It was unbelievable. He’d do his all to keep them both.
Hokuto shook his head. “It’s not. I want this. I want to be with you.”
Shintaro’s smile was happy and dazzling, and his next kiss a tad more fervent than before.
“Why don’t you stay the night?” Shintaro breathed against Hokuto’s lips. “I could drive you to work in the morning?”
Hokuto had to use all of his willpower to decline.
“I’ll go home for now. But,” he added before Shintaro could protest, “do you think you could get a babysitter for like, tomorrow? Or Sunday?”
“I’ll try,” Shintaro said. “No, I will get one.”
“Good. Something to look forward to, then,” Hokuto mused, leaning in for another kiss.
It took him over fifteen minutes to finally leave.